Advances of technology have done wonders on Motherhood, some are fabulous and others outright assault our individuality as mothers if we let them. Every single day we are told to pick ourselves up out of our homes and get going on having a productive life. Or if you are at home, at least make yourself productive at home. What does that mean? What defines productive motherhood for you? This question is no longer directed to me only when I turn on my computer but also as I converse with people who also have images put in front of them all day of Every Mom doing Every Thing.
You read about prioritizing and make your list but then you check Facebook or hear someone’s comment about your lack of productivity and question if you really have anything right. Failing to remember that we are seeing these people’s highlights and quickly turning away our very own special qualities.
The reality of life is that there are times you will simply pour more or less into God, your husband, your family or you. The sooner Moms can admit that the better we can all feel about ourselves.
I am a homeschool Mom with four little kids and found myself beating myself up for not having a quiet time every morning and then it hit me, I read CHAPTERS of scripture every day with my kids before we start school. I find myself reflecting on things in the bible with my kids and at this phase my life that is more than enough. It is perfect.
The real question is, who do we want to give our best to? God? Our Children? Our Husbands? Ourselves? You simply cannot do it all but they are all significantly important.
We experienced a period as a family where my husband worked towards business ownership. During that phase supporting our little ones was all I did. There simply was not an extra minute for myself. During that time we gave any extra we had to our littles. I was a single, homeschooling Mom that year and just keeping our children educated and alive was more than enough, it was amazing.
There have been periods of time where simply maintaining and keeping a pregnancy going was more than enough, it was amazing.
Drawing Dreaming Daughter out of her tender bulb was the goal of my year and watcing her blossom like a reluctant flower. It was more than enough, it was amazing.
Or breaking down a wall that had been built between Wild Little Girl and myself one brick at a time until she could finally rest in her Mother’s love again. It was more than enough, it was amazing.
Making a goal for myself to do just one thing from my before Motherhood years and follow through. It was more than enough, it was amazing.
So how do you elbow your way through, Mother Bear? When the world tells you that YOU are the most important and than you can DO everything! You know deep down that is a lie that only brings discouragement to every one of our weary hearts. It takes away from the amazing we are already doing and focuses on the lack, while we are in a period when God has called us to pour so much in to our precious children and our very important husbands.
Here is the list of the Everything Mom:
Manicured & Makeup Artist
Book Reading Enthusiast
Perfectly Groomed Kids
Surely there are even more you could add to the list but it is daunting enough, is it not? Add to that list a Mom who has a job or homeschools and my head is nearly spinning.
Now I’m not saying it never feels good to accomplish these things because certainly a key few are important to me. But what I am saying is not to listen to those voices that expect you to be the Everything Mom. Be the things that are important to you and only as many as are right for your own family in whatever phase of life you are in, right now.
Some Mothers are discouraged feeling like they cannot do anything except pour in and never fill themselves up. There are only so many years a woman can take of that! My encouragement to you would be to pick a few things that matter to who you are as an individual and work on them one thing at a time. Carve a small space out of every day and make it happen slowly but surely.
Have confidence in yourself and the things God has called you to enjoy in yourself as an individual. My kids do not feel neglected when they see me do things I am passionate about, their eyes light right up seeing their Mom shine a little light on who I am in Christ!
However trying to be the Everything Mom only creates stress and frustration that not only isn’t necessary but isn’t God’s best for us.
You don’t have to carry that weight anymore!
Leave that pack of unnecessary baggage at the trailhead sister and plow your own trail!
Glorious beauty awaits.
9 thoughts on “The Everything Mom: For me or my children?”
Oh so true!! LOL The everything mom totally hits the spot, Melissa. Yet nothing can be more fulfilling than motherhood. What a blessing!! And God has qualified us already for all of that even before we conceived our children. Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder.
That is absolutely true! And God has given us each a unique part in what Motherhood looks like. It is a blessing when we seek Him in all that we do! Thank you for your comment!
Hi, Melissa! Just saw your first scope (yay!!! it worked!!) and found my way here. I. Love. This. Post. I love the way you worded it, the list you made, etc. This is a post that I wrote that was my version of wrestling through these same kinds of demands: http://homeschoolingwithoutthetrainingwheels.blogspot.com/2016/01/morning-school-time-and-personal.html Thanks for sharing these thoughts! Makes me feel not-alone! 🙂
What a wonderful reminder, Melissa! So many times I place my self-worth in the list of things I can or cannot accomplish as a Mom. Finding grace in each day and letting the Lord lead are so important. Love your blog and your heart for encouraging others!
Yes, yes, yes!!! Love this post so much!! Over the years I have learned to be content and do what has been given me to do, not what everyone else is doing. Right now, I’m enjoying being able to get up before my kids and have my quiet time but with God, there was a time that I couldn’t no matter how much I wanted to and tried. In fact, I’m having to get into the habit of spending time with God alone all over again! A wise man once said, “There is a time for a time for EVERYTHING heaven”. 💕
Yikes so many typos in previous comment! Sorry! lol!! This is what i meant to write….
Yes, yes, yes!!! Love this post
so much!! Over the years I have learned to be content and do what has been given me to do, not what everyone else is doing. Right now, I’m enjoying being able to get up before my kids and have my quiet time with God, there was a time when I couldn’t matter how much I wanted to and tried. In fact, I’m having to get into the habit of spending time with God alone all over again! A wise man once said, “There is a time for EVERYTHING under heaven”.